http://funnyonly.com A collection of funny email forwards for your enjoyment! Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:09:39 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up ... http://funnyonly.com/grab-my-breasts/ Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Sarah: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Yesterday you said it is H to O Teacher: Now Sam tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. Teacher: Willy, name one important ... http://funnyonly.com/teachers-vs-students/ Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world  go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella  said, 'Fairy Godmother, what ... http://funnyonly.com/an-update-to-cinderella/ A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of ... http://funnyonly.com/the-husband-store/ A Florida businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The salesman there said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her ... http://funnyonly.com/voodoo-penis/ This joke is in honor of this year's election. After you have read it, I really do hope you go out and cast your vote. While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is ... http://funnyonly.com/the-senators-decision/ Little Mary Pat had a box of very small kittens that she was trying to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign 'FREE KITTENS' next to them. Suddenly a big line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a  motorcycle in ... http://funnyonly.com/free-kittens/ A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My dear son, you ... http://funnyonly.com/the-cab-driver/ 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise ... http://funnyonly.com/14-reasons-why-some-men-have-dogs-and-not-wives/ fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in ... http://funnyonly.com/for-great-minds-only/