Funny Things To Email & Forward

Donut Seeds

I wonder if we can really plant these in our backyard. We'd all be in a glutinous, yet blissful, world!

Another Asshole

The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some asshole using my stuff...."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

Bottle of Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman who is seated over there,” and indicated the sender with a nod of his [...]

A Fact of Life

Good Ole Frank

Good ole Frank… A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened [...]

A Bad Nightmare

A lady had a nightmare one night and woke her husband up. “Quick!” she said. “My husband is coming back!” Her husband JUMPED out of bed, quickly put on his clothes, and ran to the door. Just as he was opening the door, he stopped and said, “Wait! This is MY house!”

Garlic Warning

For years doctors and scientists have told us that some foods are good for us, only to be told later that they bad for us, and again they tell us that some foods are bad for us, and all the time they’ve been good for us. There doesn’t seem to be much proof either way [...]