The bartender asks, "What’s wrong?"

The old man looks at the bartender through teary eyes and between sobs says, "I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed."

The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, "But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are you crying?"

The old man looks at the bartender and says, "I can't remember where I live!"

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form,and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them!

10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.  Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.
10 years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

20 years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.

10 years later, at  90 years of age, the friends again discussed where they should meet for  dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.  Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.
10 years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

20 years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.

10 years later, at  90 years of age, the friends again discussed where they should meet for  dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.