Funny Things To Email & Forward » Getting Old Jokes

Where to Meet for Dinner

Funny Admin — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:41:55 +0000

A group of girlfriends, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.
10 years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

20 years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.

10 years later, at 90 years of age, the friends again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Where to Meet For Dinner?

Funny Admin — Mon, 24 May 2010 13:44:18 +0000

Tweety Bird Turn 60 This Week!

Funny Admin — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:43:26 +0000

How many points does Tweety need before retiring?

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Funny Admin — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:57:41 +0000

This was submitted by one of our readers. Thank you, Kristen. 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice ! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They [...]

The Garage Door

Funny Girl — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:28:27 +0000

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into [...]

Crushed Nuts

Funny Admin — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:22:54 +0000

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

Three Old Men

Funny Admin — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:18:24 +0000

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. “Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out.” “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You [...]