Funny Things To Email & Forward » Family Jokes

An Unusual Funeral

Funny Admin — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:14:30 +0000

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

Big Kid Talk

Funny Admin — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:26:51 +0000

A teacher of a kindergarden class was instructing the kids on the importance of talking like a big kid: Teacher: “Okay, class, it is now time to stop the baby talk and to talk like a big kid. Okay, Sammy, what did you do this past weekend?” Sammy: “I went to ride a choo choo.” Teacher: “No, Sammy, [...]

How To Be Gracious

Funny Admin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:44:19 +0000

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her [...]

The Candy with the Little Holes

Funny Admin — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:24:09 +0000

The children began to identify the flavors by their color: Red…………………Cherry Yellow…………….Lemon Green………………Lime Orange ……………Orange Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste. The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.’ One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and [...]

Aunt Nancy

Funny Admin — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:46:16 +0000

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one-by-one began to tell their stories. ”Johnny, do you have a story to share?”, the teacher asked. “Yes ma’am,” Johnny replied. “My daddy told me [...]