Funny Things To Email & Forward

A  blonde walks into a bank in New York  City   and asks for the loan Officer. She says she’s going  to Europe on business for two  weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the  bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the  blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL  500.  The car is parked on the street in front of the  bank.   

She has the Title, and everything checks out. The bank  agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The  bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral  against a $5,000 Loan. An employee of the bank then  proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground  garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde  returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which  comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, “Miss, we are  very happy to have had your business, and this transaction  has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.  While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would  you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I  return?”

AT LAST, a smart blonde  joke!

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, “I want you to send her the word ” comfortable..”

The operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word “comfortable?”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. The word’s big. She’ll read it very slowly … com-for-da-bull.”

A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket she then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying right here.’

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying right here.’

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrestthis blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, ‘You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this; I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.’

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, ‘oh, I’m sorry.’ and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy…

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

‘I told her, ‘First class isn’t going to Toronto ‘.