Funny Email Forwards To Forward » Adult Jokes

The New Bike

Funny Admin — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 15:17:29 +0000

A cop is sitting on his horse at a stop light when he looks over & sees a little boy on a shiny new bike.

"That's a nice bike," he says. "Did santa bring it to you?"

The little boy replies, "he sure did!"

The cop says, "well next year tell santa to put a taillight on that bike." and issues him a $20.00 safety hazard ticket.

The little boy, admiring the horse says, "thats a nice horse, did santa bring it to you?"

Humoring the little boy the cop says, "why yes he did!"

The little boy says, "well next year have santa put the dick underneath instead of on top!"

The Frozen Skunk

Funny Admin — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:09:51 +0000

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly [...]

Onions and Christmas Trees

Funny Admin — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:10:37 +0000

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs: In her 20′s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30′s to 40′s, they are like pears, still nice but [...]

Washing Machine

Funny Admin — Tue, 26 May 2009 14:55:27 +0000

Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night the husband says, “Washing machine.” His Wife replies, “Not tonight darling, I have a sore head.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” This time the husband replies, “Too [...]

Triplets

Funny Admin — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:45:21 +0000

The doctor tells the white guy, “your wife had triplets”! Guy says, “I’m not surprised I got a dick like a chimney”! Dr says, “well you’d better clean it cause they’re all black”!

Sponge

Funny Admin — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:21:09 +0000

Little boy was taking a bath with his mom. The boy says, what’s that hairy thing? Mom say, that’s my sponge. Boy says oh, Aunty has one, I saw her wash dads face with it!

Grab My Breasts!

Funny Admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:09:39 +0000

A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn’t work. The clerk told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, “Grab my [...]

Voodoo Penis

Funny Admin — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:56:39 +0000

A Florida businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he’d buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The salesman there said, ‘Well, I don’t know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many [...]

Morning Sex

Funny Admin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:51:24 +0000

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’ My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming [...]

Dirty Wife?

Funny Admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:27:55 +0000

If only my wife was this dirty?! Is that as dirty as he wants her? I’ve seen dirtier cars…