You are blond and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud. So every time you fart, you time it with the music. When you start making your way to the door, as you exit the bus, everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realize……….. you’re listening to your I-POD!!!
The doctor tells the white guy, “your wife had triplets”! Guy says, “I’m not surprised I got a dick like a chimney”! Dr says, “well you’d better clean it cause they’re all black”!
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in ‘Slim Fast.’ Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!”
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “What the Hell is this?” he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out.
“Honey”, he hollered into the bathroom, “Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?”
She replied with a snicker. “It’s not talcum powder; it’s ‘Miracle Grow’!!!!!!”
Little boy was taking a bath with his mom. The boy says, what’s that hairy thing? Mom say, that’s my sponge. Boy says oh, Aunty has one, I saw her wash dads face with it!
Hey Ladies,
Just a friendly reminder to shave your coochies…January 20th is the last day for Bush!
Pass it on…
There are things in life that just drives you crazy. I recently ran into this website that drove me nuts. It’s a color test and it’s supposed to help lower the cholestrol in your brain or help slow Alzheimer’s. Haven’t found any truth to it yet, but this color test is fun regardless.
The point? Click on what the color of the word instead of the word itself. Sound easy enough. Except you’ve got only 4 seconds to chose.
It takes approximately 5 tries to get 100%. Try and see how many tries it takes for you to get 100%.
Click here for Color Test
Got this email a few days ago, but don’t know the validity of it. In any case, I thought it was funny…
Guys…
Be very careful this is happening everywhere – pass this on to your friends so they do not get hurt by this scam !!!
Subject: Parking Lot Scam-Home Depot
Be Careful – A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends..
Here’s how the scam works:
Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen on 0ctober 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also November 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 12th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.
P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each
In a few short days, an African-American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings – because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.
Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it’s forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry – possibly even rioting in the streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place when this man takes up residency in this house.
This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation’s history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him – it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts – the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to “judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character”.
There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy – it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be many times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly. But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake – because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the Lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.
Who is this man?
Do you see anything “funny” about this Mona Lisa?
